“Manhood is the defeat of childhood narcissism.” –David Gilmore
I will never state that I have grown up or be fully realized as an adult. Actually, I don’t know, I could by the time I’m 85 sitting in my chair recollecting the thoughts of all of my years finally say that yes I am an adult. There is an equal chance that I will laugh at myself and reject that thought too. But I will always try to be an adult, more specifically I will always try to be man knowing that I may never get there.
I truly believe the journey is the goal and that if I see a man striving very hard to let go of their childlike tendencies of narcissism, then he is a man. That I think is the biggest difference between being a man, and someone saying to “be a man.” No real man should ever accuse another man to be anything less than a man. In that accusation you lose your manhood.
I know for sure that in my journey to be more empathetic, more of an ally, it has been challenging. Just because it takes a whole lot of humble to hold down your guard, to understand that your experience and your knowledge has no basis in some arguments. This is something goes absolutely against what as a boy you were taught, explicitly and implicitly. Being able to stay silent, pondering, and most importantly listening is the hardest but most valuable lesson a man should learn.
I know that there a lot of men (boys really) that feel threatened right now because of modern feminism. And to those people that are frustrated at those threatened boys, trust me when I say they will all evolve or get lost in the historical dust. The rest of us will happily bury them