Today we’re joined by one of my good friends, Lyndsay Chaban. We met almost 13 years ago, while working together at a big retail chain, both of us in customer service position, helping people with returns and complains. And I think, a theory of mine, in some weird way that has subconsciously informed us into the paths that she took. Working as a psychologist that is working with “Men’s Issues.” So I wanted to reconvene and chat with Lyndsay as to why she chose the path she took, and also, most importantly to dole out some great advice for men in regards to relationships, feelings, and anger. All of these informed from her own practice.
If you need to seek counselling with someone who deals with men as a specification, you can check out Lyndsay at Summit Counselling Services,
Bryony Cole is leading the way, along with the many women of sex tech, in trying to understand what could be the healthy, and amazing future of sex, and how technology can be used to provide empathy, compassion, love, and positive interaction. She also cares a lot about how men are using these new technologies, and how pornography is being used in the day to day world.
We got to chatting about dating apps, pornography, VR, sex education, among many other things.
If you’re in Australia, on March 23-25 there will be a Hackathon where you can help design, create and build the Future of Sex! You can find all that information if you go to futureofsex.org/hackathon.
Alex Putici is an entrepreneur out in Calgary who I wanted to meet because he started a program called 100 men who give a damn, a foundation in which 100 guys gave money to a different charity each year. But he’s also a guy that tries to live and breath vulnerability, if you don’t believe me check out his website putici.com which cites how many times he got fired, how many times he’s gotten audited by the CRA, and if he has ADHD (yes he does).
But through my conversation with Alex, we tease out one of his vulnerable spots, the role of the provider as a man, along with some of his excellent expertise as a businessman.
You can check out all the projects Alex has going on at putici.com or see him in person in Calgary at WorkNicer.
On the last episode of 2017, I invite an old friend of mine who wanted to share his story and progression of his understanding of feelings and emotions. And also to share the wisdom that he has gained through his journey as a business owner and a stand up comic. Either through the sexism that was created by the old boys clubs that he was a part of, or through the ethical problems he faced navigating such an environment.
It’s easy to say that the concept of martial arts and masculinity run in very close circles. I’m very curious about things like the rise of the UFC, or the portrayal of a violent form of conduct like martial arts in movies have an effect of how men view their masculinity.
Jaredd Wilson is a black belt Aikedo specialist who runs a podcast called Martial Thoughts out of Nashville Tennessee. He took on the challenge of trying to guide through my ignorance around martial arts and think about how he views his own masculinity through martial arts.
In the second part of my conversation with Jeff Perera we speak about the aspects of shame. And how shame colors the barriers of men to truly engage in the conversation of anti-violence and masculine liberation. To be able to confront those actions of our past, and to flex what Jeff calls “those empathy muscles.” In this conversation, we also get a chance to bond over one of our favorite bands: The Beastie Boys and I also get a chance to reflect on International Men’s Day.
You can find Jeff Perera on Twitter and Instagram at Jeffperera. And you can check out his work through Higher Unlearning. Clip in the episode is from the movie “The Punk Singer” about Kathleen Hanna
Do we have a problem when politicians such as Justin Trudeau and Theresa May call themselves feminist? Especially if they back policies which in their root cause are anti-feminist? And the other big one, does feminism truly lead to a liberation of traditional masculinity? Or does it just critique? And if it just critiques, where does that lead the men who want to find their own masculinity?
Ally Fogg, writer for The Guardian and many other publications, has been asking these questions for years. And not only that has worked to push the UK government for a more gender inclusive language when they talk about issues like violence. We spoke in the summer a little after the many terrorist attacks in the UK, which we get a chance to speak about, and we also talk about the dangers of labels, especially on politicians.
I would encourage you to check out Ally’s fight with the UK government in the role of mislabelling male victims of abuse over at his blog. I would also encourage you to check out one of his latest posts about stopping men being violent through the lens of Raewyn Connell. Asking instead the question “why does society value violent men?” which makes it hard for men to walk away from violence.
This episode of Modern Manhood is brought to you by the Edmonton Community Foundation which is host to the Well Endowed Podcast, check out their new episode with the one and only, George Takei
I will also be speaking at the upcoming Rad Dad’s event called The Summit. Check out Rad Dads on Instagram and Twitter if you want to come.